my ramblings

rain.

2009-09-21T15:53:00.003-04:00

[First, if you are wondering why there hasn't been a post here since April it's because I used another blog this summer that I am considering completely converting to- journey330.com

So, if you would like to read anything I posted in the gap of activity on this site then just head on over there.]

That out of the way- I love rain. It has been raining for a week straight in Atlanta and is currently coming down it's hardest yet. I understand that enjoying rain puts me in a very small minority. Don't ask me why I love it.. I have no clue. But there is just something so encouraging, inspiring, and motivating about it to me. I makes me want to do things that deep down I want but never really get around to. It makes me want to be better. Again, I have no idea.

That's all. I just thought I would break the silence by confessing one of those odd things that makes me.. Jade.

Play it again.

2009-04-25T23:57:00.001-04:00

Today was the greatest day I've had in a long time.

Highlights:

Holiday Parade's new album in the speakers, windows down, rocking the shades, hand out the window on 400.

QT slushies.

Value Village.

New cassette tapes for the drive back to ATL.

Sitting in camping chairs outside an open door watching The Sand Lot while grilling kabobs on a $15 grill at 9pm in the fabulous 76 degree weather.

Seriously, thank you God for life.

Thank you for amazing people to do life with.

And thank you for "rich and sassy" BBQ sauce.

The night before.

2009-04-11T23:58:00.000-04:00

Not much to say.

So much in my heart.

I cannot fathom a god- my God choosing to be crucified for me.

That right there- not that I can't physically see or hear Him-

That is what makes the thing so tough to believe.

Christ willingly gave His life so that I could be forgiven for cursing His name.

Why does He love me that much?

How could He love me that much?

Going to bed with those thoughts tonight.

Prayerfully expressing the awe that is in me right now.

Looking forward to tomorrow and what it represents.

Still not sure how this can mean much coming from me but,

I love you, God.

My drive to nowhere.

2009-03-31T20:29:00.004-04:00

Have you ever got into your car with no idea where you were headed? Not because you were shaky on some directions or were going to a new place. But because you actually had no destination in mind at all. That's what I did this evening- here's the story..

I love rain- I do. But I have really had enough of it already. It's just now Spring and I want to enjoy the sunshine. Today was so mundane (that's a horrible word, I know. But I really didn't have another one..). My first class was canceled, so I laid in bed too long. My next two classes were excruciatingly boring (as usual), so I didn't pay attention. It was upper-body day at the gym, so it was short. My plans for tonight were canceled. I tried to read a book on the couch but fell asleep. I made rice and caught up on Grey's. Derrick and Meredith getting engaged was the highlight of my day up to that point. I had to do something- anything. So I walked out to my car and cranked the engine.

I had no idea where I was about to go but I had to go somewhere. I took an instinctive left out of the parking lot and headed east. I drove through Little Five and took another left. I passed Clothing Warehouse where I bought my Members Only jacket and also where I met Jon Foreman. Easily one of the greatest moments of my life. I drove by Wax-N-Facts where I fell in love with vinyl. Further down Moreland- oh yeah, Moreland. Moreland Avenue has plenty of memories of it's own. My first drive-in being one. Anyway, further down Moreland I crossed a road called Fairview. Fairview was the name of one of the first bands to give me a shot (no pun intended). Really nice guys- I'll never forget them. Then I came to Ponce de Leon Avenue. I remember being so perplexed by that road when I first moved to Atlanta. It's nice finally knowing how to use it. Moreland has turned into Briarcliff by now and soon I passed a little BBQ place on my right. "Dusty's Barbecue" to be exact. The sign claimed it was "an Atlanta tradition" and I decided to test it. Good not great. I pulled out of the parking lot and spotted a QT across the road. Memories came flooding back of this pretty neat boy who got me hooked on their slushies. The stop we made that I remember most was on the way back from seeing Cartel at the 40 watt. I followed Briarcliff another few miles until I recognized something else. A restaurant called "Lettuce Souprise You". That same boy and I made fun of that back around Christmas when we were at the Dollar Tree close by getting stuff to put in out OCC shoe boxes. A little more driving and I ended up on Ponce again. I passed a man who put down his bag so that he could break out a little dance on the sidewalk. I turned left on Monroe and decided to pull into Trader Joe's. I walked past some fresh-cut daffodils and felt a strange urge to buy some. I didn't, wishing that one day someone else would do things like that for me from time to time. At the checkout I added a bar of 72% dark chocolate at the last second (I couldn't resist). It's a good thing I did because when my cashier saw my total ($23.00) she rang a bell behind her and grabbed my wrist and led me to a wheel on the wall. She then told me to spin it. A little confused as to what had just happened, I gave it a half-hearted spin. It landed on a free bunch on bananas but she didn't like that. So she spun in until she was pleased with the result- a free bunch of daffodils. Haha. What are the chances? So now I'm sitting in my room, typing all of this out as if you care, and hoping my flowers will be bloomed by morning. That would be a great sight to wake up to.

So that is where my drive to nowhere took me.

I should really do that more often.

BigStuf.

2009-03-16T15:38:00.002-04:00

Most of you know about the internship I got for this summer. And most of you know how incredibly excited I am about it. This is going to be no doubt, life-changing.

I created a website to act as a supplement to the support letters I sent out/will send out. If you guys want to know any more than I've already told you, check it out..

www.journey330.com

I'll also be blogging there this summer. I'll still add some stuff here but most of what I post will be on that site so that I can keep any of my supporters who care to be updated in the loop. I would love for you guys to check that out when the summer starts. I always love to hear your thoughts! Until later..

The Magnificent.

2009-03-04T16:29:00.004-05:00

New U2 album.

New inspiration.

- -

Magnificent

I was born

I was born to be with you

In this space and time

After that and after I haven't had a clue

Only to break rhyme

This foolishness can leave a heart black and blue

Only love, only love can leave such a mark

Only love, only love can heal such a scar

I was born

I was born to sing for you

I didn't have a choice but to lift you up

And sing whatever song you wanted me to

I give you back my voice

From the womb my first cry, it was a joyful noise...

Only love, only love can leave such a mark

Only love, only love can heal such a scar

Justified till we die, you and I will magnify

The Magnificent

Magnificent

Only love, only love can leave such a mark

But only love, only love unites our hearts

Justified till we die, you and I will magnify

The Magnificent

Magnificent

Recap.

2009-02-03T15:02:00.007-05:00

Pre Super Bowl-

So my sister has a new beau.. his name is Will. And just so you know.. I am very critical of any guy that thinks he's good enough for her and from what I can tell I think this Will guy is a winner. The only downside so far is that he is a Georgia AND a Duke fan. See, I just don't know how a good person could.. anyway. So Lynsey calls me just before the Super Bowl and tells me that Will thinks she is a sports buff, (Ha!) and that he really likes that about her (Haha! Oh, Will...). Then she asks (just incase he quizzes her) "who's playing again?" Ok, at this point I started wondering if I should take advantage of this situation. Then my thoughts were interrupted by- "I know it's the Philadelphia Chargers but who are they playing?" Oh yes, I was definitely taking advantage of this. So I told her the New York Bears. She then accused me of lying because everyone knows the Bears are a baseball team (at least she's consistent). Ahaha!! Oh man.. looove her. I ended up telling her the correct teams along with a few other pieces of trivia with which to impress her new heart throb.

Super Bowl-

You broke my heart, Arizona. Really.. you did.

There were a few commercials I liked but not as many as in previous years. Budweiser and Coke always come through with some classics. E-trade's were good- though they didn't have the effect they did last year before anyone had been exposed to the campaign. Bridgestone also had some good ones. I didn't get the memo about the 3D glasses but I'm assuming that Sobe's ad was pretty neat.

Post Super Bowl-

The Office was gold. GOLD. Seriously, it made me laugh in spite of a huge Super Bowl letdown. "Barack is president! You're black, Stanley- get up!!" Oh man.. Dwight. Love him, his fire drill, and the bowie knife he has strapped to his leg.

Yesterday-

My intramural team won our basketball game! Whoo.

Also, found this incredible video-

I will probably watch this at least once everyday this week...
Today-Free Grand Slams at Denny's! So Trey, Howard, and I drove down to south Atlanta at 7:40am only to find exactly what we expected to find at a Denny's giving away free breakfast in south Atlanta. Luckily there was a WaHo next door.. we decided to go for that. Oh, best part- we had a contest to see who had the coolest debit card with our waitress acting as the judge. Guess which one she picked? Yep, my ballin' Regions Visa. She also agreed with me that Trey's "gold card" was a bit tacky. Mhmm.
Later-$4 burritos at Willy's with friends. Then after that, who knows? Maybe Catalina and I will watch some Office season two.
I am happy.
JK

But more importantly, People.

2009-01-26T13:56:00.007-05:00

"When choosing a career there are many things to consider. Obviously income, position, and image are things we think about. But ultimately the question you have to ask yourself as you begin your life after school is this- 'Who do I want to be?' What you do doesn't make you who you are. It supports it, but that's all. You choose who you want to be. When you come to the end of your life what do you want people to say about you? Jade was a great business woman- very successful, had it all. But she also neglected her family and didn't give enough time to her friends. She was at the top of the heap but sacrificed relationships to get there. Or do you want to be known as a kind, giving, loving woman of God? Someone who knew what this brief life is all about. Someone who made it a point to be there for people when they needed her and even when they didn't. I can't tell you which path to take- you have to make that decision. But just know that that will be a question that you will undoubtably be faced with and need to be prepared to answer." -Woody Faulk, VP of Brand Development - Chick-fil-A

The above is roughly and a little less eloquently what Mr. Faulk closed our meeting with about a week ago. It's something I've been thinking about ever since. I've always valued relationships above anything else in this world. I know that the name I make for myself will fade with time just like everything else- everything except one. That one thing that will never fade, that one thing that will last forever is people. People's bodies eventually (or suddenly) die, yes. But souls are forever. Forever.

This is nothing new coming from me- anyone who reads this thing has heard me say that before. But I was really taken back when someone as successful as the man who reiterated that to me revealed that he also lived by that mindset. It was very encouraging to say the least.

I know you're probably thinking- "If this is nothing new (which it's not) why are you bringing it up again? Random." Well to answer that, I spent a good portion of yesterday (seven hours) talking to one of my best friends about something huge and scary going on in his life right now. And it was concerning something of which I know little about. But it was ok because I know him. I know how he's feeling just by looking at him or hearing his voice. Those seven hours didn't mean anything. It was like time didn't exist. He was searching and hurting and all I could think about was how much I wanted to make everything all right. So that, that conversation with him is what got me thinking about all of this again.

Relationships do mean a lot to me. My family and my friends take priority in my life second only to God. I've said before that if we're close I would turn my life upside down for you and challenge anyone who doubts that to test me. Now I should say also that I am not perfect- not anywhere close to it. Don't think for a second that I believe I am. So if I've hurt you (and I'm sure I have) I didn't mean to. I didn't want to. I would never want that. And I would really appreciate you confronting me about it if I have or in the event that I do in the future. Give me the chance to make it right- to apologize.

Also please know that I'm here for you. And I'm here no matter what. I mean that with all of my heart. If you need to talk- you have my attention. If you need to vent- you have my ear. If you need to just cry (and we all do- yeah even me)- you have my shoulder. Please, please know that. If I do anything right in this life I hope it's that I find a way to love people like Jesus.

So friend, I'm here for you. (always)

Epic PHAIL.

2008-12-09T15:54:00.004-05:00

I have done some pretty dumb stuff in my life, and while this morning didn't top the list.. it came pretty close.

Trey and I are in the same geography class. Yesterday, we spent most of the day studying for our final at 8:00am this morning. We left the Commons this morning around 7:30, stopped so Trey could get something to eat, then got to our classroom a couple minutes before eight. I said to Trey "look, our seats are open!" See, there are these kids who ALWAYS sit in our seats on test days. Not any other days, just test days.. I guess so they can cheat.. who knows. Clue number one- our seats were open on a test day.

Anyway, we go sit down. I looked to the front of the room only to find two teachers I have never seen before. Trey and I were like "aww man.. where is Mother Nature?" Fact: our geography teacher IS Mother Nature. Just accept it and move on. I was wondering why she would get someone else to give her final.. weird. Then Trey mentions that one of the teachers taught his film class last semester. Clue number two- the man at the front of the room was not only NOT a TA... he didn't even teach geography. But we still didn't get it..

I then noticed that everyone in the class already had scantrons so I walked to the front of the room and grabbed two. These scantrons were the full size 8.5" x 11" scantrons. I thought that was weird taking into account we never use those.. we always use the little skinny ones. Clue number three.

As I start to sit back down, Trey throws out the wild possibility that we may be in the wrong class. .......ehhh.... oh. I looked around.. didn't recognize anyone. Not that I really ever paid attention to the people in that class anyway.. but I mean I knew no one in there. Trey then turns to a girl sitting behind us and asks, "what final are you here to take?" She replied, "...film."

SOLID. Epic PHHAIL. Trey and I gather our things, leave our scantrons on our desks, and slowly make our way to the front of the room and back out the doors.

While part of me was really shocked that we had just done that, another part of me wasn't surprised at all. Winners I tell ya.. that's us.

We sat outside our classroom for about twenty minutes looking through the syllabus, looking through uLearn, calling/texting people in our class, only to find nothing and to have no one get back to us. We finally e-mailed Mother Nature herself and admitted our stupidity and asked if she could tell us one more time when the final was. Turns out it's this Thursday at 8:00am.

Awesome. We are awesome.

Better late than never.

2008-12-02T12:46:00.005-05:00

I know Thanksgiving was like a whole five days ago... whatever.

Anyway, I thought that in the spirit of the season I would list a few things off the top of my head that made me smile this week.

These are in no particular order.. I'm just typing as things come to mind.

Tech beating Georgia. I really could not have asked for anything more than my Jackets beating up on the Dawgs in front of about 90,000 of their obnoxious fans. (I don't mean all of UGA's fans are obnoxious.. if you know one I'm sure they're lovely)

Family. I love my family so much, man. They are so cool and laid back.. awesome. They are awesome.

My Savior. This time of year is so spiritual for me. It just brings everything into focus in a way that I wish I viewed it all the time.

Trey's whistle "S" haha! So great.

Conversations on the floor outside my door.

Basketball. Gah, such a great game. And I love getting paid to watch it.

Really lame jokes... all day long. (none of you are going to understand that.. but I thought of it.. and I am holding nothing back)

My sister's kisses. The best.

And her finally sitting still long enough for me to draw her for my final art project.

Fall and all the glorious goodness that comes with it.

My Jon Foreman vinyls finally coming in the mail.

My mom and everything about her.

Coldplay's new EP.

Hot apple cider.

Kristian and his love for the song Joy to the World.

Non-stop Christmas music on 104.7 fm.

Catchphrase and the wonderful people who played with me until 1:00 this morning.

You. You reading things like this. Really? I'm not sure why anyone reads this crap.. but thanks. =)

So yeah those were really random. I know.. and I'm sure that I left out a bunch. But those were just a few things that I have been blessed from this week.

Matching sweaters

2008-11-24T12:53:00.006-05:00

I have this awesome friend named Will Ward. He is seriously so great! But sadly, I've seen less and less of him lately. So I was very happy when he called yesterday and asked if he could come over for a while before our church's Thanksgiving dinner.

Haha.. sooo perfect. He walks through my front door wearing a sweater that looked almost identical to mine! I think his reaction was something like "ohhhh no" followed by lots of laughing and "we are too cool, Jade King." It was awesome.
After we got bored with the Cowboys game and realized we still had two hours before the dinner.. we decided to play Rummy. I was killing him too until the last hand.. he got 225 points in ONE hand. What?!
On our way into the dinner I swear we looked like an old couple with our matching sweaters and me carrying a pot of green beans. We got so much grief for those sweaters too.. but I thought it was funny.
I love Thanksgiving, great friends, and matching sweaters. Don't you?

JK

Remember that time we thought..

2008-11-10T14:11:00.005-05:00

So I spent a good portion of yesterday with Trey coming up with things we would do if we just happen to be given a thousand bucks apiece. ...don't ask why. And wow.. I think I learned more about myself in that hour than I have in the past month. What would I do if I were handed $1,000 to do with as I please? I think the answer to that question for any of us says a lot about who we are deep down. Would we stash it away? Invest it? Go out and blow every bit of it on whatever the heck we wanted.. because after all, it was a gift. Would we give it to a cause we believe in? If so, how much? 10%, 50%, all of it? The situation reminded me of a line from the greatest book ever.. as most things like this do. "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:21

So very true. Think about it. What have you invested most of your time and money into? The broad answer for most of us would be "ourselves" without a doubt. At least that is true of me.. and what do I really care about most? Deep down.. if I'm brutally honest the answer is myself. There are, of course, many sub-categories to this principle. Like what about myself have I spent the most on?

If you want to know what someone cares the most about, just open up their checkbook. Where does that person spend most of their money? On their car? Their house? Their designer wardrobe? All of the above? Remember that scene in Fight Club when Edward Norton's character has his apartment blown up? Remember what he was so concerned about? The ying-yang coffee table, the matching curtains, his recently completed wardrobe. He had spent so much time arranging his little life just the way he wanted it. He strived for it to be perfect. And after all of that time, that effort, that money.. it was all blown away in a moment. Gone- all of it. That's the trouble with investing in things of this world. The verse above is best understood in context, so here it is.. "But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

While most of the things that we surround ourselves with today could be gone tomorrow, there are a few things that will remain. The toys and trappings of this physical world will one day dissolve like snow, but the souls of people will last forever. So knowing that, why don't I invest more in people? Why not give time and money to make someone's life better? Why not help a kid out through an organization like Compassion International go to school, afford food and clothes.. things I so easily take for granted. Why not take a hour or two out of my week and go read to some kids.. make a difference in their lives. Why not run down to the soup kitchen and help out now and then? Why in the world do I invest more in earthly things than I do eternal things. Why?! It's like I know this.. but I forget it all so easily.

Until later..

Country First.

2008-11-05T21:34:00.011-05:00

Wow. Last night was crazy, huh? While I wasn't very pleased with the outcome, I cannot deny the historical significance of this election. America has elected her first black president. This is so huge. It really really is. We have come such a long was as a nation when it comes to race and equality. I am inspired to have witnessed a black man elected as the leader of our nation. He was not my pick for the job, but he got it. I will deal with that. It may take time for me to get past my disappointment that John McCain did not prevail, but I will. More importantly though, we all should.

Everyone who is upset at the outcome of this election has the right to be. It's a big deal. But being upset isn't going to make anything better. Barack Obama will be our president in a few short months. That's a fact. I would like to point out that the Bible has something to say about authority that I think we all need to hear. "Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God's servants, who give their full time governing. Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor." Romans 13 1,6-7 Now were those verses referring to the current authorities in Rome at that time? That's possible. But I think that the concept is applicable today in our country.

Obama is going to be our president whether we like it or not. So it is time for us to move on. It is time for us to heal the wounds inflicted during the race. It is time for us to stand up, stand together, and be the kind of Americans our parents and grandparents were. It is time for us to believe in, and time for us to work for something much bigger than ourselves. Obama is going to be faced with some really tough stuff right off the bat. Though stuff that Bush has been dealing with during most of his term. But I plead with you to be more supportive of Obama than our country has been of Bush. Have some class, people. I really don't know if most people understand what we are facing right now. And anyone who has to carry our nation's current burden should be given some extra slack. That includes Obama. Especially Obama. The short list of what he will be faced with includes decisions concerning our country's economic crisis, two wars, tensions flaring around Israel, what most believe to be a climate crisis, and not to mention raising his family. He needs our support and our prayers more than anything right now. I'm not talking about little "dear God help him" prayers. I'm talking get down on your knees and really pray for this man that God has placed as the new leader of this nation.

Pray that he will have wisdom to make decisions not based on party affiliations but on the well-being of America. Pray that he will have the strength to stand strong or those decisions he makes- that he will not easily waver in the presence our enemies. Pray for protection. Pray for endurance.. four years, as we all know, is a long time. Pray for a peace inside him telling him that he has his country's support, not just half of it. This is the man who will be shaping our future as a people, as a nation, as America. The greatest dang country the world has ever seen!

So friends, can we come together as Americans? Can we unite under one goal, one vision, and one flag?

I'm not saying you have to always agree with him or his opinions. Lord no, please don't think I'm asking you to conform. Stand up for your principles- without them we are nothing. I am only asking you to support our new president, Barack Obama, as best you can.

Country First.

Today-

2008-10-08T18:20:00.007-04:00

Started off great. I got a really good night's sleep. No tossing, no turning- just sleep. The sunrise woke me up around seven as usual. I didn't have class until eleven so I rolled over and went back to sleep. I woke up again at nine and wasn't tired enough to try to catch a few more minutes of sweet slumber, so I read for about half an hour before finally rolling out of my unbelievably comfortable bed. Seriously, for a six-inch mattress with no box-spring, that thing is crazy awesome. Oh yeah- I'm reading The Kite Runner. I'll wait to elaborate on how I feel about it until I'm finished.

So I rolled out of bed- And to my delight I found remnants of rain on my window. I love rain so much.. I'm not so crazy about walking to class in it but I guess that's the trade-off. Rain always puts me in a Jon Foreman mood. I turned on his EPs and started getting ready.

Trey and I walked to art class and tried our hardest to not get too wet. But there really wasn't much we could do. Art class proved to be the one downside to my day. My teacher is just so (insert big fancy adjective that means "life sucking" -help, Caitie?). Seriously, she doesn't like anything I do and it is starting to get really discouraging. But this is a happy blog so I'm going to move on.

After class, Trey and I had lunch in the Student Center.. lame, I know, but it was raining. In film class we watched a not-so-bipartisan PBS special about censorship. It was pretty interesting but I mainly piddled in my sketch book the whole time.

As I walked out of GCB I couldn't resist the urge to go to the library and grab some coffee and soak in the day. The weather demanded it. Well, maybe just suggested it.. but just go with it. It was around five, so there wasn't an empty table or even chair in the place. So I made my way over to the children's section and sat in a trendy red chair that sat about one foot off the ground. Looking at the isles of children's books brought back so many amazing memories of my dad reading to me before bed. I still remember a few pieces of some of the stories. One in particular was about the north wind and an old man.. I don't remember much else but it was a great story. The feelings that those memories brought back almost literally picked me up and pulled me into one of the isles of books. I browsed for a while looking for books that I may have read as a child when I came across an "Arabian Nights" book. It was a small book covered with green canvas. I took the book back to my red chair and read about Ali Baba and the forty thieves. Moral of the story- it's good to have someone who is very clever close by to keep you out of trouble. I finished the story and my coffee almost simultaneously. I put the book back in its place on the shelve and tossed my empty cup in the trash. I walked back outside and debated waiting out the rain with the story of Aladdin. I ended up putting on my hood and toughing it out.

I'm back in my room now, listening to Jon Foreman and watching the city transform outside my window. It's pretty incredible really- the sun coming out from behind the rain clouds and casting a warm smile on the west faces of the downtown buildings. Though the best part of the sunset was when the clouds took on about six different colors. Every time I sit and watch a sunset it's almost like I've never seen one before. They always amaze me. Always leave me in this crazy state of wonder at my God who is probably the greatest artist I know. =)

Well, I'm about to run off to Publix with Trey and Eva.

So until next time,

I dare you to move.

2008-09-21T11:21:00.007-04:00

Last night, two of my friends and I went to a Switchfoot/Third Day concert a little ways south of Atlanta. We bought lawn tickets which made for a different Switchfoot experience than what I'm used to. And yeah, they are still the best live show on tour today even when they aren't headlining and you are watching from a hundred yards away.

There are so many instances I could pick out from last night to talk about, but one stands out above the rest. Switchfoot ended their set with their hit song, Dare You to Move. Since I was on a lawn and couldn't really see them anyway, I laid down in the grass and just stared into the night sky freckled with about twelve stars (that's twelve more than I would normally get to see downtown). The opening line to the song became so appropriate- "Welcome to the planet, welcome to existence." Last night, the words to that song finally sunk in. They took on a whole new meaning and filled me with a burning feeling that I cannot describe. As I laid there on the ground and listened to the words-

I dare you to move

I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor

I dare you to move

Like today never happened

Today never happened before

As if to say "move, get up, go. We make mistakes, we screw up, we mess up, we have bad days, but it's ok." But why? Why is it ok? What makes all of that ok? The song continues-

Maybe redemption has stories to tell

Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell

Where can you run to escape from yourself?

Where you gonna go?

Salvation is here.

We can't run from ourselves. We can't hide from the mistakes we've made or the decisions we regret. But in that place, that low, dark place where we find ourselves after we have tried so hard to make it on our own. In the place that we fell- that is where we will find forgiveness. It's not at the top of some mountain of self-righteous acts. It's not at the end of a good deeds obstacle course. It is where we are right now. It's here. Right here. Salvation is here.

That blows my mind. The promise that we don't have to be good enough for our Savior. In a world and in a society where there are so many standards we have to live up to to be part of something. We have to be good enough for our schools to allow us to attend. We have to be good enough for fraternities and sororities to let us be a part of them. We have to be good enough for that guy or that girl to be attracted to us. And sadly, some of us have to be good enough to receive acceptance and honor from our families. But we don't have to be good enough for God. We don't even have to be close. He takes us just as we are and He loves us that way. This brings to mind a verse that never fails to bring my heart to its knees.

Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

-Romans 5: 7-8

My mind is searching for words to describe what that means to me but the only thing it can come up with is "wow." Just "wow." While my life will probably never inspire anyone on this planet to give their life for mine. In spite of all of the nasty, horrible things I've done- cursing His name and deliberately disobeying His commands, the God of the universe came down and sacrificed Himself for me- just as I am.

Wow.

Dry Eyes in the Pouring Rain

2008-07-30T19:29:00.008-04:00

I was sitting on the couch about an hour ago when it started to storm. I love storms- I really do. After listening to the rain on the roof for a while, I had an uncontrollable urge to go outside and experience it. So, I put on a yellow poncho and trekked out to the deck. I sat down on a chair and just soaked it in. I watched as millions of rain drops exploded on the ground around me. I kind of let my vision go out of focus for a while. I can't hardly describe what it looked like- the rain hitting the deck. I guess it looked like waves of millions of little lights dancing around at about seventy miles an hour.
I suddenly realized that I was sitting on a metal chair. Not such a great place to be in a thunder storm. So I moved over to a wicker chair a few feet away.
It was such a lovely experience. Sitting in the rain I mean. Feeling the cold drops hit my skin. Listening to the roar of the thunder. Looking up into the grey sky, trying to see where the rain was falling from. I think storms are the most visual connection we have to the heavens. Sure there is a lot of spiritual stuff that has a much greater presence in our lives. But we can't see prayers. We can't physically see the connection we have with God. We can see rain.
It's times like that when I wish my camera was water proof. Though I did manage to get a few snaps from my PowerShot without getting it too wet.
I love the rain. <3 JK

I miss Mayberry

2008-07-10T23:30:00.003-04:00

I'm in the middle of an Andy Griffith marathon.
I love this show.
=)
It makes me wish everyone would take a step or two back and slow down every once and a while.

JK

Fireworks

2008-07-05T00:20:00.002-04:00

Here are some of the pictures I took tonight-

I love fireworks.
=)

JK

Independence Day

2008-07-04T18:39:00.002-04:00

Happy fourth!

God bless this great country.

New haircut, new pictures, and new memories.

2008-07-01T21:36:00.004-04:00

This morning my friend Kelley and I went for a run at our old high school. It was a pretty good run.. but man it was hot!
After that we had lunch at Zaxby's. When we finished there I went to get my hair cut. It's a little different but I like it.

But the most fun I had today was when Kelley and I went to take pictures. We've talked about doing it for a while, but just now got around to it. I'm not ecstatic about how they turned out. But just hanging out with my girl was a lot of fun.

Later, we went downtown to take some more pictures. The place we went to was right by where my mom works so we visited her for a little bit. Then it happened-- When I went back out to my car my stomach dropped like a rock. I did it. I locked my keys in my car. I am sadly turning into my mother. Well, mom took us home to get a spare door key that she had made one time after she did the same thing. Aaand that key didn't work. Of course. So we drove BACK home and found the remote. It was quite an ordeal but we made the best out of it.

It was a good day.

=)

Here are some of the pictures-

JK

A constant state of amazement

2008-06-25T01:32:00.006-04:00

Wow. God is incredible. Really. Tonight I was hit hard by some recurring emotions. I mean I was at the bottom of the bottom. I was struggling with a long term situation/decision in my life that I just wasn't liking at all. The decision wouldn't be considered a bad one by anyone's standards- I just didn't know if it was worth it. I felt so alone. And it seemed like I would feel that way for the rest of my life. It felt to me that all that I had worked for and believed in was worthless. That it was going to get me nowhere. I thought that I was a failure. I was consumed with the fact that what I had in mind for myself wasn't happening. I didn't think anything would ever pay off. Then God showed up. (as He sometimes does)

No more than twenty minutes after the onset of those feelings, someone called me. This wasn't someone I talk to very frequently so I wondered what the call was for. After the awkward "Hey, how are you? How is college going?" small talk they told me why it was that they called. They wanted to tell me how much that decision (that I wasn't too happy about making) meant to them. How I had been living encouraged them. I mean they nailed the exact topic that I was dealing with. They told me that they were proud of who I am. Then explained that the unexpected call was in response to what they felt God was telling them to do. They said that God asked them to call and tell me all of that.

Now some would call that bologna, others coincidence. But I call it God reaching down and letting His child know that it's going to be ok. That He will always be there when I need Him. I really cannot describe what that kind of love means to me. It brings tears to my eyes. And for those who know me well, know that there isn't much that does that. (And for those who don't know me well-- I didn't cry in The Notebook.. I know.. I have no heart.)

JK

New Pictures

2008-06-23T17:53:00.008-04:00

I took some pictures of Holiday Parade the other night at the Masq. Here are a few of them-

I had a great time at the show. My awesome friend, Trey, went with me. We hung out in downtown/midtown before the show. We ate at The Flying Biscuit mmm. Ha! And we would eat in midtown during pride week! Then we went back to his house in Roswell afterwards. I thought since I was in the area I should go to North Point the next morning for church. That was fun since I haven't heard Andy much this summer. After that, Trey and I had lunch at Sweet Tomatoes. Man that was good.. Then I drove back home because I had to be at work by 4. :P

JK

Good Times

2008-06-04T21:56:00.006-04:00

I just got back from a two day retreat to Roswell. My birthday was Sunday and right after I got off work I headed to my friend's house. It was so awesome to see him! He pretty much rocks my sock off. Monday we and a few other people went to the river and played on a killer rope swing. Then we went to the mall and made or way to one of our favorite stores (Pac Sun). We hit up the 50% off rack. =) Then we found that in order to work there you have to have a math education level no higher than a 1st grader. One girl told us that a hoodie that was originally 39.99 would be 15 after the 50% off. Then the guy at the register told us that if we spent 50 dollars we would get a gift card and that we only need to spend 12 more dollars (we had already spent 42). Yeah, so we definitely got a kick out of that. Tuesday, chance would have it that we got to spend half of the day with an awesome photographer. His name was Chris Wahl and he was one of the coolest people I've ever met. Among a few other things, we hit up the QT because.. well.. we had to. It was a great two days. The best two days I've had in a while.

Now this is where I go on rambling about what I got out of the trip. You can stop reading now if you want.. this just helps me process. I am so incredibly lucky to have a few really amazing friends. I have a lot of people I call "friend." I fell like the term "friend" is used a little more liberally than it should be.. but whatchagondo? I have a few people that I would consider a.. hmm.. real friend. But those few I am so thankful for. They are what make this life bearable. They remind me that there is still good left in this world where it seems like everyone has become irreversibly self seeking. I value those relationships more than anything.

JK

A New Lens

2008-04-26T13:33:00.005-04:00

I have one week left before they kick my butt out of The Commons. The only thing that stands between me and that date are three finals. mmm. Gotta love cumulative tests.
With the end of my first year of college drawing near, I'm beginning to look at life through a new lens. All the things that seemed like such a big deal before are starting to appear so much more insignificant. I'm starting to realize that life isn't about me. I'm not the star of a huge life size performance. The people surrounding me aren't background characters who are only there to make me look good. Life.. my life is part of a bigger picture. My life is a small section on a big God sized canvas (thanks Louie). My life isn't for me to bring glory to myself. My purpose is to redirect any glory that may be pointed at me to my Father. Without Him I am nothing. I am dead. Separated from true perfect love forever. And while I was still undeserving of it- He saved me. He saved me from myself. From my mind that is bound by the restrictions of this Earth. I was given a new life. Not a new life to squander on the pursuit for riches and fame. But an opportunity. An incredible opportunity to advance my Jesus' eternal kingdom. Wow. I get to help build His kingdom. I can't believe that I let that thought ever slip from the front of my mind. While everything around me tells me that life is about being sexy, rich, famous, and self seeking- the only way for me to not get caught up in the glitter and snazz is to keep my eyes locked on Him. To completely surrender my miniscule life to His will. He can accomplish much greater things trough me than I could ever do on my own.

Here I am Lord.
Take me.

Jade

Passion.

2008-04-13T15:17:00.003-04:00

Wow. This weekend has been so amazing in so many ways. My eyes have been opened to things that I've never seen. For example- I am the temple of The Holy Spirit! Oh my gosh. He is inside of me right now! The same Holy Spirit that resided in the temple in Jerusalem that priests feared to go near. The same Holy Spirit that allowed the disciples to speak in languages that they never learned. THAT HOLY SPIRIT! Wow... of course I have heard that my whole life. And I guess that's why I never thought much of it before. I don't know how I missed it. Part of the Trinity lives inside me. Right now. Wow.

I just pray that the Holy Spirit will stretch out and fill every last inch of my helpless body. That God will use me as an instrument for His plan. That I won't refuse when He asks me to do something in His name. That I will jump at every opportunity I run into to advance His eternal kingdom! I want the Spirit to take up so much room in my soul that nothing else could ever slip its way in. That is what I truly want.